is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
