what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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