hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
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