please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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