If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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