Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
