I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
