I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
