Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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