they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
