And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
