yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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