do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
