I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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