No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
