Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
