I need help removing her.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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