i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
