i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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