i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
