He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
