Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
