This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
