whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It's never too late to be topless.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
