she was so not down for the gang bang
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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