piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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