im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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