yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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