i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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