Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
