Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
