But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
