I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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