speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
