Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
