Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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