people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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