You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
She bit a glass in half.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
