I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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