god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize