If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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