$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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