ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
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