I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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