they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
