She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
