so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
