his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
