Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
