Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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